More cartoon laws... woohooo!!!

The Cartoon Laws of Physics

(Originally "O'Donnell's Laws of Cartoon Motion", Esquire, 6/80)

[often quoted from "IEEE Institute", 10/94; V.18 #7 p.12]

(Anonymous comments on the main laws that did not appear in the original are marked with parenthesis.)

I: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.

Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

(Exception: This does not apply to cool characters who've never studied law.)

(Appendum: Any species capable of flight, upon distraction of vertigo, will lose ability of flight. Conversely, any two feathers held in each hand and waved will (temporarily) give flight to any character that does so.)

II: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.

Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

III: Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.

Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

IV: The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

V: All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

VI: As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled.

A `wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

VII: Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.

The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

(Corollary: Portable holes work.)

VIII: Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

(Corollary 2: Cartoons cats have the uncanny ability to emit piano sounds when their teeth are transformed into piano keys after having a piano dropped on them.)

IX: Everything falls faster than an anvil.

Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons.

X: For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.

This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

---

Additions added by Internet circulators

(Ed Bell, Syed Towheed, Dave Williams, and others)

If a tree falls on a character, it results in a partially elastic collision, repeatedly bouncing off their head until they are driven into the ground.

It is possible for fire to spread by becoming temporarily animate.

Any alligator, when punched, will fly up in the air returning to the ground as a nice set of matched luggage or perhaps as a nifty pair of boots.

Objects launched into the air need not follow parabolic trajectories.

Intelligence is inversely proportional to body size.

Firearms are relatively ineffectual weapons (unless, of course, your intent is to blacken someones face, make it difficult for them to drink, and hold, water, or remove bills or feathers).

Drawings are real as long as you're not aware they're drawings.

A 'toon's GI-tract will always expand linearly in proportion to the object being swallowed regardless of the object's size.

A vehicle's speed is limited only by the size of the numbers written on the speedometer.

Pretending one is stepping on brakes is as good as having them.

Holes are moveable.

Drawings and constructs warp reality so as to encompass them. This warping of reality often does not extend to the artist or builder.

Amendments

1. A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
   When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

2. The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.
   Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.

3. Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.
   They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

4. Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.
   Their operation can be witnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to strech. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

5. Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).
   The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved in maintianing a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed.

6. Any bag, sack, purse, etc. possessed by a cool character is a tesseract - any number of objects of any size may be placed in it or removed from it with no change in its outer dimensions.

7. Characters can spin around and change into any set of clothes appropriate to the situation.

8. Rabbits can dig a burrow from here to there in less than 20 seconds and emerge spotlessly clean.

9. Movements are accompanied by funny sound effects.

10. Especially eye blinks, which usually are accompanied by xylophone or or other percussive noise type tinkles with each blink.

11. Vehicle Uncertainty Principle:

    A vehicle travelling along a straight path which extends to the horizon uninterrupted remains in state of indeterminacy-- existing invisibly at all points along the road simultaneously-- until its waveform is collapsed by a villain entering the road. This causes the vehicle to coalesce into an observable form at that location, maintaining high velocity. Classical cartoon physics take over at this point.

    RDB translation into plain English: As soon as Wile E. Coyote steps into the road, the bus appears to run him down.

---

"Rules we obeyed in the Coyote/Road Runner Series"

From an autobiography of Chuck Young, creator of the Road Runner cartoons ("Chuck Amuck: The Life And Times Of An Animated Cartoonist", and "That's All Folks: The Art Of Warner Bros. Animation". Copyrights and trademarks C. Jones et Warner Bros)

1. The Road Runner cannot harm the coyote except by going "Beep Beep!"

2. No outside force can harm the Coyote-only his own ineptitude or the failure of the ACME products.

3. The Coyote could stop anytime -- IF he were not a fanatic. "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim" -George Santayana.

4. No dialogue ever, except "Beep Beep!"

5. The road Runner must stay on the road -- otherwise, logically, he would not be called Road Runner.

6. All Action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters -- the Southwest American desert.

7. All material, tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the ACME Corporation.

8. Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.

9. The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.

10. The audience's sympathy must remain with the Coyote.

Cartoon Laws.... wooo!!!

Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly,

until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second squared takes over.
Exception: This does not apply to cool characters who've never studied law.
Appendum: Any species capable of flight, upon distraction of vertigo, will lose ability of flight. Conversely,

any two feathers held in each hand and waved will (temporarily) give flight to any character that does so.

Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly.
Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum

that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton

called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure

explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a

house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for

whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably priceless, thus the attempt to capture it will be inevitably ultimately

unsuccessful; while the attempt will often be initially successful, an essentially valueless object, such as a

feather or anvil falling on the head of the character will indirectly cause the destruction of the priceless

one after a short pause in which the character who has caught the object has taken a deep breath.
The feather, anvil, or other object in question is likely to have been dropped by a mouse, IF the character

trying to save it is a cat.

Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's

surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of

a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a

speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.
This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from

the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are

spinning or being throttled. A 'wacky' character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds

and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an

entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.

The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a

problem of art, not of science.
Corollary: Portable holes work.

Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be

decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After

a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.
Corollary 1: A cat will assume the shape of its container.
Corollary 2: Cartoons cats have the uncanny ability to emit piano sounds when their teeth are transformed into

piano keys after having a piano dropped on them.

Cartoon Law IX
For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.
This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that

reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.
Cartoon Law X
Everything (especially a coyote) falls faster than an anvil, or a boulder, or a large chunk of terra firma,

or...

Cartoon Law Amendment A
A sharp object will always propel a character upward.
When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by

shooting straight up, with great velocity.
Corollary: Such upward motion will usually be restricted by an overhang of the nearest cliff wall, even though

said cliff wall was never visible at any other point in the cartoon. Cartoon Law Amendment B The laws of

object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.

Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their

backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.
Exception 1: Only objects capable of being lifted by the toon can be produced from behind his/her back, unless

they are to be used to clobber an opponent.
Exception 2: Only objects needed by the toon to express him/herself (e.g., signs for Road Runner or Calamity

Coyote), or props needed for the situation (e.g., Buster's magnifying glass for the Roches), or to humiliate

an opponent for a laugh may be produced in this manner. Objects that serve solely to gratify the toon (money,

a Porsche, etc.) cannot be produced in this manner.
Cartoon Law Amendment C
Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.
They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.
Cartoon Law Amendment D
Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.
Their operation can be witnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop.

Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will

begin to fall, causing the neck to stretch. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine

will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.
Cartoon Law Amendment E
Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which cartoon laws hold).
The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved

in maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large

(stick-sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of

distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B), which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use

said quanta to their advantage.
Cartoon Law Amendment F
Any bag, sack, purse, etc. possessed by a cool character is a tesseract - any number of objects of any size

may be placed in it or removed from it with no change in its outer dimensions.
Cartoon Law Amendment G
Characters can spin around and change into any set of clothes appropriate to the situation.
Cartoon Law Amendment H
Rabbits can dig a burrow from here to there in less than 20 seconds and emerge spotlessly clean.
Cartoon Law Amendment I
Movements are accompanied by funny sound effects.

Especially eye blinks, which usually are accompanied by xylophone or or other percussive noise type tinkles

with each blink.
Cartoon Law Amendment J
Vehicle Uncertainty Principle:
A vehicle travelling along a straight path which extends to the horizon uninterrupted remains in state of

indeterminacy-- existing invisibly at all points along the road simultaneously-- until its waveform is

collapsed by a villain entering the road. This causes the vehicle to coalesce into an observable form at that

location, maintaining high velocity. Classical cartoon physics take over at this point.

Translation into plain English:
As soon as Wile E. Coyote steps into the road, the bus appears to run him down.

Funny quotes by famous

Good Quotations by Famous People:

Famous quotes, witty quotes, and funny quotations collected by Gabriel Robins over the years.

---

New: If you like the quotations on this Web page, you'll also greatly enjoy two of the most inspiring lectures that I have ever heard, given by my friend Randy Pausch, entitled "Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" and "Time Management". High-resolution versions of these lectures, including Randy's Oprah Show reprise of his "Last Lecture", are available for downloading on the Randy Pausch Legacy page.

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"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)

"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."

- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)

"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."

- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat

"His ignorance is encyclopedic"

- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"If a man does his best, what else is there?"

- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"Political correctness is tyranny with manners."

- Charlton Heston (1924-)

"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality."

- Ayn Rand (1905-1982)

"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."

- Robert Pirsig (1948-)

"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."

- A. J. Liebling (1904-1963)

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."

- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

"Give me chastity and continence, but not yet."

- Saint Augustine (354-430)

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you."

- Leon Trotsky (1879-1940)

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."

- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

"We are all atheists about most of the gods humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further."

- Richard Dawkins (1941-)

"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."

- Emile Zola (1840-1902)

"This book fills a much-needed gap."

- Moses Hadas (1900-1966) in a review

"The full use of your powers along lines of excellence."

- definition of "happiness" by John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."

- e e cummings (1894-1962)

"Give me a museum and I'll fill it."

- Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

"Assassins!"

- Arturo Toscanini (1867-1957) to his orchestra

"I'll moider da bum."

- Heavyweight boxer Tony Galento, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is."

- Yogi Berra

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."

- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)

"Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems."

- Rene Descartes (1596-1650), "Discours de la Methode"

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."

- Henry Ford (1863-1947)

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

- George Burns (1896-1996)

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951)

"There are no facts, only interpretations."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."

- Edsgar Dijkstra (1930-2002)

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."

- Bjarne Stroustrup

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

- Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."

- Paul Erdos (1913-1996)

"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."

- Thomas Henry Huxley (1825-1895)

"Dancing is silent poetry."

- Simonides (556-468bc)

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."

- Salvador Dali (1904-1989)

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."

- Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."

- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn."

- Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947-)

"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain."

- Friedrich von Schiller (1759-1805)

"We have art to save ourselves from the truth."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it."

- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) when asked what is his favorite song

"I have nothing to declare except my genius."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) upon arriving at U.S. customs 1882

"Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe."

- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)

"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must."

- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)

"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

- unknown

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

- Sharon Stone

"If you are going through hell, keep going."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions."

- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."

- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."

- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."

- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."

- J. Paul Getty (1892-1976)

"Facts are the enemy of truth."

- Don Quixote - "Man of La Mancha"

"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world."

- George Washington Carver (1864-1943)

"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself."

- Anais Nin (1903-1977)

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

"I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right."

- Frederick (II) the Great

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."

- Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)

"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."

- George Eliot (1819-1880)

"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."

- Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930)

"Black holes are where God divided by zero."

- Steven Wright

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it."

- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."

- Vince Lombardi

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."

- James Branch Cabell

"A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship."

- John D. Rockefeller (1874-1960)

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."

- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it."

- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."

- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)

"I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth."

- Umberto Eco

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down."

- Jimmy Durante

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

"A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both."

- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969), Inaugural Address, January 20, 1953

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working."

- Albert Giacometti (sculptor)

"There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet."

- Randy Pausch (1960-2008)

"It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring."

- Carl Sagan (1934-1996)

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."

- Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."

- Frank Zappa

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

- Antoine de Saint Exupery

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

- Isaac Asimov

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

- Carl Sagan (1934-1996)

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."

- G. B. Burgin

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

- Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."

- Jimi Hendrix

"A clever man commits no minor blunders."

- Goethe (1749-1832)

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."

- Richard Bach

"A witty saying proves nothing."

- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera."

- James Stephens (1882-1950)

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."

- Henry Kissinger (1923-)

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."

- Will Durant

"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."

- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)

"It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."

- Mario Andretti

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means."

- Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

- Henry Ford (1863-1947)

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

- Warren Zevon (1947-2003)

"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."

- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head."

- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together."

- Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it"

- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"While we are postponing, life speeds by."

- Seneca (3BC - 65AD)

"Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?"

- Bumper Sticker

"God, please save me from your followers!"

- Bumper Sticker

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."

- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

"Luck is the residue of design."

- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

- Mel Brooks

"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."

- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Wit is educated insolence."

- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."

- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."

- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."

- Gore Vidal

"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."

- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."

- Guy Davenport

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."

- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"

- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)

"When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong."

- Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."

- Paul Dirac (1902-1984)

"I would have made a good Pope."

- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience."

- W.B. Prescott

"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."

- John von Neumann (1903-1957)

"The mistakes are all waiting to be made."

- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position

"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."

- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"Grove giveth and Gates taketh away."

- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."

- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."

- C. A. R. Hoare

"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"What do you take me for, an idiot?"

- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy

"I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon."

- Bill Hirst

"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."

- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."

- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."

- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)

"Logic is in the eye of the logician."

- Gloria Steinem

"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."

- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)

"Everything has been figured out, except how to live."

- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."

- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."

- Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."

- Goethe (1749-1832)

"In the end, everything is a gag."

- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."

- Lucille S. Harper

"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

- Yogi Berra

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."

- Walt Disney (1901-1966)

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."

- Mae West (1892-1980)

"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater."

- Gail Godwin

"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."

- Henry Kissinger (1923-)

"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."

- Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."

- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

"Behind every great fortune there is a crime."

- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."

- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

"I am not young enough to know everything."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."

- General George Patton (1885-1945)

"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking."

- Katherine Cebrian

"I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."

- Steven Wright

"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour."

- Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure."

- Oliver Herford (1863-1935)

"I have read your book and much like it."

- Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

"The covers of this book are too far apart."

- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."

- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."

- Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."

- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."

- Mae West (1892-1980)

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."

- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

"No Sane man will dance."

- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Hell is a half-filled auditorium."

- Robert Frost (1874-1963)

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

- Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

"Vote early and vote often."

- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"Hell is other people."

- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

"Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

- Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world's first nuclear explosion)

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."

- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."

- Thomas Jones

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."

- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"The gods too are fond of a joke."

- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."

- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."

- Gloria Leonard

"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man."

- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

- Robert Orben

"The cynics are right nine times out of ten."

- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."

- Revelation 6:8

---

"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."

- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal."

- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy."

- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk."

- Harold Robbins

---

"Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things."

- Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)

"What about things like bullets?"

- Herb Kimmel, Behavioralist, Professor of Psychology, upon hearing the above quote (1981)

---

"How can I lose to such an idiot?"

- A shout from chessmaster Aaron Nimzovich (1886-1935)

"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."

- Woody Allen (1935-)

"I don't feel good."

- The last words of Luther Burbank (1849-1926)

"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure."

- Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

"Men have become the tools of their tools."

- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant."

- Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines

"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."

- Gore Vidal

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."

- Woody Allen (1935-)

"Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives."

- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually."

- Abba Eban (1915-2002)

"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."

- Charles William Stubbs

"Sanity is a madness put to good uses."

- George Santayana (1863-1952)

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."

- Fred Allen (1894-1956)

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take."

- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."

- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

"Why don't you write books people can read?"

- Nora Joyce to her husband James (1882-1941)

"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."

- T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)

"Criticism is prejudice made plausible."

- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."

- Tom Stoppard

"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."

- Karl Wallenda

"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."

- Sun Tzu

"A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar."

- Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)

" The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

- Alan Kay

"Never mistake motion for action."

- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."

- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)

"Hell is paved with good samaritans."

- William M. Holden

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."

- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

"Silence is argument carried out by other means."

- Ernesto"Che"Guevara (1928-1967)

"Well done is better than well said."

- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The average person thinks he isn't."

- Father Larry Lorenzoni

"Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd."

- William Congreve (1670-1729)

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."

- Helen Rowland (1876-1950)

"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."

- Lewis Perelman

"Dogma is the sacrifice of wisdom to consistency."

- Lewis Perelman

"Sometimes it is not enough to do our best; we must do what is required."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."

- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

"There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal."

- Sigfried Hulzer

"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."

- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943

"I think it would be a good idea."

- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)

"I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!"

- Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" "

- Will Rogers (1879-1935)

"The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy."

- Von Clausewitz (1780-1831)

"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity."

- Irving Kristol

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible."

- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"

- H. M. Warner (1881-1958), founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."

- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."

- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A pint of sweat saves a gallon of blood."

- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."

- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."

- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."

- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

- Tom Clancy

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."

- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."

- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."

- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

- Yogi Berra

"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole."

- Bill Wulf

"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."

- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Write drunk; edit sober."

- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault."

- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

"Love is friendship set on fire."

- Jeremy Taylor

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair

"My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate."

- Unibomber Theodore Kaczynski, when asked in court what his current profession was

"Woman was God's second mistake."

- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."

- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper

"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing."

- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."

- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.

"Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run."

- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

"He would make a lovely corpse."

- Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

- Irvin S. Cobb

"I worship the quicksand he walks in."

- Art Buchwald

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."

- Paul Valery (1871-1945)

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."

- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?"

- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing

"#3 pencils and quadrille pads."

- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back side of the pages so that the grid lines were not so dominant.

"Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray."

- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.

"Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."

- Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.

"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need."

- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."

- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The truth is more important than the facts."

- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."

- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)

"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."

- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Pictures of poverty

Pictures of poverty, from unknown sources/owners and from Amit's Orkut album entirely. All of them are low resolution images as the owner(s) of these images are not known yet. Will post about them as soon as I come to know.
Click on the image to see full view.

toonrama1

phew thank god! lost the login id of this blog and thankfully recovered this with the help of the online password and user id recovery system available in this blog... from now this is my new blog.... hey hey... :)

So, to start off lemme post this work of mine,d done completely in photoshop, using the pen tool






































































































































































This is another creature design that I did suddenly one late night after a hard day's regular work.
Done with a 6b on cartridge... so could not shade more details, which otherwise actually I wanted to. Can't wait to do more of these weird creatures... They are my favourite... ha ha ha






















This work(above) 'Droolox' is dedicated to my sweetest friends and cousins...
1 - draco0121012 - a sweet and a budding artist friend.
Friends! please visit her DA gallery
[link]

2 - Noopoor Gandhi - A talented 3D artist and a sweet friend and my junior here in my animation school here.

3 - Kaushik and Kausthub - My cousins from Chennai who love my works and always ask me to do characters, sketches, drawings for them since my childhood.

4 - Sudha Gayathri and Shraddha - My cousins who are also from Chennai who love my works too and always ask me to come to Chennai and I miss them a lot.

5 - Ramya - My cousin from Vijayawada.

They are the youngest and sweetest friends I have.


"Droolox"(above)Done with a 0.5 mech pencil on a plain white paper. Took one full day. Was painstaking towards the end. Gave me scope to understand how to detail and shade. One of those few drawings of mine which I strategically approached to draw. lol. Friends! Please feel free to correct or comment. I have to improve a lot a lot a lot... miles to go before I sleep.